


Nervous Musings

by TwinVax



Series: Critrole Stories [11]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Fear, Gen, Light Angst, Nott has fears, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinVax/pseuds/TwinVax
Summary: warsawmouse  asked: Nott angst: she doesn't want to know if Yeza really was her friend or was just pretending to survive.Nott has time before going into Felderwin to think.





	Nervous Musings

Nott threw herself at the shoddily constructed shelter, her weight breaking the supports and taking her down with it into the dirt. Her clan weren’t going to need shelters to sleep in anymore, now that she and the rest of the Mighty Nein had killed them all. 

Breaking apart what her clan had made was fun, but she knew it was only a distraction that wouldn’t last. One that the others were humoring her with. All of them knew why they were here, and getting rid of her clan had only been a bonus to delay it. 

She scrabbled to her feet, pulling the blanket that had fallen onto her in her fall off her as she ran to another shitty temporary shelter. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to think about leaving the forest, or disguising herself, or being anywhere inside of Felderwin. She was scared. She was so scared, and all she could do was try to ignore it by breaking apart the last of what her clan had to claim, while the others got rid of their bodies somewhere deeper in the woods. 

She stopped at the structure that housed the torture devices, moving carefully instead of throwing herself onto it to dismantle it. Fully aware of what everything in it was capable of. It was where her anxiety came from, where she had met Yeza and saved him, becoming his friend. 

Unless he had been pretending. That was where her worries lied. That Yeza had lied to her to stay alive. That he pretended to care for her and taught her what he knew, not because she was different and he saw more than just a goblin, but because that was all he saw. She was just a goblin to him, and he pretended so that she would be tricked into saving him. 

It worried her. If her friends returned, and they went into the village together, she couldn’t be sure she would actually be welcomed by him. She couldn’t know if he would kill her or turn her loose to the village guards, no matter if the others were with her or not. 

She finished with the torture shelter, throwing one last board away with it’s heavy nails embedded into it as far as she was able, sitting beside the wreckage. 

She could say she changed her mind. That she didn’t want to go see him after all. That it was okay to leave and stay as far as she could manage to keep them from Felderwin ever again. They would probably be ok with it. Caleb would understand, and would never judge her for worrying about it. He would agree to leave the uncertainty and fear where it should be. 

She could see the village through the thin layer of tree coverage, but Nott was so afraid of knowing the truth of her friendship, she didn’t think she could ever step foot in to find out. She didn’t think she would be able to handle the rejection. 


End file.
